to be or not to be, that's no longer the question

okay... i'm not trying to mock Mr. Shakespeare himself right there. It's just the exact words to reflect the situation now.

I was asking myself: "what kind of blog i want to have?" A serious one consists of articles in politics and world affairs? A kind of my daily journal?. Ah well.. Being an extremely easily distracted (by random things) person that I am, so i decided that this blog would be exactly like that. Full of randomness... Yea, that's what it's gonna be.

Allright...back to the situation. (See? already got distracted! so easy!).
This is a circumstance i've been experiencing, the one i've put myself into, involving the feeling i've been dealing with. The case of "Losing your mind for the sake of your heart", that is.

The significant person related to this is not a perfect guy. Yet, he's got (almost) everything i've been looking for in a guy. the almost complete package. Physically, quality, capability, and the 'succesfully-making-me-feel-the roller coaster-emotion' kind of ability. He's brought back the excitement kind of feeling that i had lost for more than a year. He's unintentionally reduced the cynic in me. My contempt over love or something like that. I was astounded by the fact, at first.

Am i being cheesy-corny there? Nahh... Knowing myself, it's like almost impossible for me. I'm just being brutally honest here. Yea...that's me.

At first, i was like: "is it real? is it just a fling? does he really like me? where's this going?" But then...I ruined it!. My stupidity has had to pay the price. And i'm still paying it now. The cruel reward of being honest. Something i'd never done when it comes to a guy i like. Should i haven't done the 'stupid' deed, would it have been different? I have no idea. But the very question has been haunting me for months.

He's leaving in less than a month. Yet, i remain unsure. I haven't got the answer. Albeit, i've killed my hopes. "to be or not be, that's no longer the question".

I want the answer. The truth and nothing but the truth. The answer of what it was. What exactly he feels (or 'felt'??)
Weirdly...the answer came to me through my dream. Yea i know, that's hardly the answer. Who would think a dream means a real thing??? almost inconceivably...

Twist

Before you go and leave this town.
I want to see you one more time.
Fight me, try me.
Kiss me like you like me.
Twist it around again and again..

Yea... that's what i really want. so now, the question would be:
"to know, or not to know....that's the Question"
Period.